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A rebirth for the old fans [16 Mar 2006|06:35pm]
Just call me a Sack-tease. 

     A small phone rings abruptly on this Friday morning. Yet, the eerie still that falls over its occupants bedroom is not shaken. The phone continues to ring, until it is diverted to an answering machine. The voice on the other line calls out, “I know you are there, Sean! Pick up! You better be awake by now! Pick up, damnit!” Slowly, the lumbering shape on the bed rustles awake, and lands, with a gentle thud, on the floor. 
     The voice continues, “I am not hanging up until you pick up!” 
     The body slowly gets to his feet and grabs the phone. “Yeah?” says the dark face. 
     The voice on the machine asks, “Can you do me a favor? Bring in some markers for the science projects today. Mine are all worn down”. 
     Turning on the light, the face of the body from the bed is illuminated. Covered in a five o’clock shadow at six in the morning, with sloppy black hair and a pale face. Plaid pajamas cover his lower half, while his upper half is exposed and nude, displaying small budding man breasts. This is Sean Sanderson, a young slob who’s life is about to change.
1 say| fuck you

Miss Deaf Texas struck by train, killed [14 Mar 2006|03:51pm]
AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died after being struck by a train, officials said.

Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking Monday near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train, authorities said.

A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred.

ha ha ha ha ha ha.
i'm going to hell, i find this hilarious.
9 say| fuck you

[07 Mar 2006|05:37pm]
You know, Christopher Columbus takes a lot of shit he doesn't deserve.
He's a scapegoat.

I think that I no longer respect anyone who doesn't "honor" Columbus Day.
Fuck you, you have no idea what you are talking about, and I will not have you steal a day off from me.
9 say| fuck you

[11 Feb 2006|10:08pm]
i watched a bodybag get loaded into an ambulence today.

1 say| fuck you

[07 Feb 2006|04:12pm]


Just like the old days, but with illustrations.

4 say| fuck you

no...it's not when you find out oprah misled your book club into reading fiction [02 Feb 2006|07:02pm]
[ mood | clean assed ]

I have discovered the most disheartening feeling in the world;

When you finish taking a poop, and then you wipe, look at the paper, and realize that the paper is clean, it was a clean log dropping, and that you didn't need to wipe at all, and you just wasted 10 seconds of your life.


I could have gotten off the pot and walked away.

9 say| fuck you

are you there margaret? it's me, god. [22 Jan 2006|10:05pm]
[ mood | beh ]

So Justin and I are playing music again. We are in need of a bassist. A good bassist. A mature bassist. A bassist who can get from Point A to Point B. A bassist who I won't want to kill. Know anyone? Get in touch with me.

I suspect something that would probally create so much conflict.

The new Lawrence Arms C.D. leaked today.
The Devil's Takin' Names.
I'm just a humble sinner.

1 say| fuck you

WARNING [20 Jan 2006|09:56am]
By the way, I am pretty sure my shitstream of pop ups is because of an AIM virus. I got an Instant Message from a band member saying "Should we put these pics of us on myspace or facebook?" with a link. I clicked because I didn't think anything of it. My Getaway sent me their pics on tour, and I have bathed with Wade from Pathway, so why wouldn't someone ask my opinion on pictures. Nothing happened when I clicked on the link, so I assumed it was a bad link, and went on with my life. Soon, the pop ups began. I didn't put two and two together until another member of the same band sent me the same instant message. That's when I thought "why the fuck would a high school band care about facebook" and "why didn't that link even bring up a webpage?" It was because clicking on that link installs a Trogan on your computer that completely fucks you with pop ups. So be careful. Don't open up links on AIM unless you ask the person what the page is. If they don't reply back, do not click on it. Their AIM may be compromised. As of right now, my laptop is totally fucked. I had a total of 132 pop ups appear on it while I slept and it ran virus scans. I am hoping to save it without wiping it clean, but you do what you gotta do.

Be careful. And fuck nerds.
2 say| fuck you

Two rants for Thursday [19 Jan 2006|08:43pm]
As I try to write this, I am being interupted by the constant stream of advertisments (in the form of "pop-ups") that are falling out of the ass of my internet. Which leads me to my first, and inherently second, problem of the day. First of all, fuck anyone who makes a computer virus. I am an asshole, and even I think that is just lower than low. First and foremost, if you make a computer virus, you are a nerd. If you are a nerd, where the fuck do you get off being that big of an asshole. I'll kick your ass Trekie. Secondly, it's just not cool because if you fuck up someone's computer, that's like over $1000 in damages. Why not do like me and fuck up something cheaper, like a mental pyshche.

God damn pop-ups.

Next, whoever gave me this little advertisment virus, fuck you. I think it was a member of Pathway To Providence. Fuck them. Your band is (GOD DAMN POP-UPS) dead to me now.

My big argument for the night is this - "White Supremacists Are Just Jealous"

This following passage may be a bit much for some people to handle. If you are a white supremacist, please do not procede.

White supremacists are always talking about how God and Jesus don't love (including, but not limited to;) blacks, Jews, hispanics, homosexuals, chinese, japanese, dirtynese, redheads, and American Idol contestants. Therefore, it is the white supremaists job to kill all of these people for God. (Look, God is busy striking down Islamic leaders and talking to Pat Robertson to do his own dirty work.) However, if you chalk up the score between white supremacists and the people they hate...well, see for yourself.

Round 1: Genocide
White supremacists say that the only way for Jesus to return to Earth is the complete killing of all non-whites. Let's check the scoreboard;

Asains, Africans, and assorted Pacific Islanders: Genocide
White Supremacists: No Genocides

The people white supremacists hate win this round.

Round 2: Raising An Army
If the white supremacists want to do any racial cleansing, they will need alot of people. Ask any white supremacist what he thinks of your town, and he will probally say, "too many niggers." Yeah, they'll need a big army. Let's check the score.

White Supremacists: Small collections of rednecks being monitored by the government. Just monitored. Not hunted. They really just go to crazy church.
Everyone else in the third world: Giant armies to do their own racial cleansings.

Everyone else wins.

Round 3: Murders

If you want to have an uprising, you have to be ready to kill your enemies. Let's see how they stack up.

Everyone the white supremacists hate: Kill armed forces members, hostages from European countries and America, as well as take down contractors who go armed overseas to hunt them.
White supremacists: A group of six or seven can kill one black man. A group of three or four can kill a frail gay kid.

Not only does everyone that the white supremacists win (because they murder people who were sent armed to kill them) but they make the white supremacists look like huge pussies (because they kill gay kids in big groups.)

Round 4: Terrorist Attacks

Both white supremacists and the people they hate agree that for their twisted views to take hold, it's gonna take a lot of terrorist attacks. Let's see how they stack up.

Arabs: September 11th attacks, hundreds of bombings since then, the U.S.S. Cole bombing, the original WTC bombing, and a slew of others.
White supremacists: The Oklahoma City Bombing.

Look, I am not trying to make light of the Oklahoma City Bombing, but c'mon. After all the things that the Arab terrorists have done, they make the Oklahoma Bombing look like a grain of sand compared to a boulder. And to top it off, McVeigh (the guy who did the Oklahoma City Bombing) only did it because a book he read written by another white supremacists layed out how to do it. No creativity, no group planing. Nothing. Just plagurism.

See, the white supremacists say that all the aforementioned groups are good for nothings who deserve to be killed. But, if you look at how much work the other groups are doing, it appears that the white supremacists are just jealous.

**Anyone who says that homosexuals should be killed by white supremacists because homosexuals don't have armies, just remember that white supremacists have done nothing for the fashion world.**
7 say| fuck you

[11 Jan 2006|02:11am]

You know, the geek deep down inside of me is saying "Hey, fatass.  Why don't you stop complaining that during the House Of M miniseries, Iceman, who was finally coming into his own was de-mutantized, and stop your goddamn bitching about how the Infinite Crisis series has just way too many crossovers for you to casually read and stop looking at the Wikipedia inserts on the above mentioned series and work on that one that you used to."  To which I reply, 'Are you kidding me?  I ruined that thing.  Started getting way too arrogant and making it serious and shit and getting lost in my own stories and making it way too confusing for anyone but myself to actually follow.'  My geek replies, "Hello, do what all comics do when that happens; start fresh, wipe the characters universe clean, retcon the stuff you don't like, keep what you do, revamp the characters you did keep, and pretend like that never happened."  'Damn, you're good,' I reply.

Fuck it.  Palm Coast needs a hero again.

1 say| fuck you

i've got 100 resolutions [27 Dec 2005|11:12pm]
but i've got no solutions.

doesn't the new year blow? a late night party made for getting wasted just to forget the things that you are going to try to remember to do to change who you are as a person, but will fail to do because we always fall to our biggest faults.

i could easily think of 100 things that i want to change and/in the case of/therefore dismissing sections two and three of clause seven in article thirteen/or wish were different next year, but most of them are out of my hand because of either my passive agressiveness, lack of a moral fiber, or circumstances out of my control which will cause by to act out by using option two due to the infliction of option one.

so to wrap up this contract, i hereby resolve not to put a bullet in my temple and to keep my tongue out my mouth. (you can take that tongue thing sexually or not, whichever you pick will determine how much you know me.)
4 say| fuck you

[13 Dec 2005|11:47pm]
"Error: Can't find website www.lonelyconfusedandscared.com"
1 say| fuck you

[27 Nov 2005|08:46pm]
what do you do when the way you pour your heart out is gone?
2 say| fuck you

[06 Oct 2005|11:34am]
If anyone was smart enough to buy extra tickets to the Nintendo Fusion Tour or anyone can't go or anyone knows someone who fits the above qualifications, please get in touch with me.

I will pay some top $$$ for two tickets.
7 say| fuck you

[04 Oct 2005|01:32am]
i just dont fucking know
6 say| fuck you

You're drunk. [02 Oct 2005|09:54pm]
You're sexy.
1 say| fuck you

[15 Sep 2005|11:21pm]
Anybody who believes in Intelligent Design or (HEAVEN AND HELL FOR-FUCKING-BID) Creationism...


Not sorry to anyone I offended.

(By the way, the guy on The Daily Show supporting Intelligent Design just called god "the big-g". Funny, I call orgasms "the big-o".)
6 say| fuck you

[09 Sep 2005|07:38pm]

So, I am reading an article at CNN.com about animals from the aquarium that survived Hurricane Katrina and were being airlifted to a new home.  Some of the animals they listed were penguins, sea lions, hippos, rare fish, a puppy, an Austrailian Sea Dragon, sharks, a peni...WHAT THE FUCK!?  DID THEY JUST SAY "AUSTRAILIAN SEA DRAGON!?"  (This is what I asked myself.)


So, I went on a frantic search (at www.google.com of course) to find the elusive Sea Dragon, where it went, and how I could steal it to harness it's firebreath and flying powers so I could make it my pet and name it SEAn DRAGON. 


Low and behold, I find it.  Do you know what the Sea Dragon is?  It's this;


It's just a cousin of the sea horse, with extra large and decorative frills.  No firebreath, no flying abilities, no stories from the old country about eating knights.  It's just the sea horse's gay cousin from Chicago.



3 say| fuck you

[29 Aug 2005|02:39pm]
Who is ready to have some fun, eh?

Yours truly stumbled onto a website where Christians morally judge movies for society. This was a riot. I swear, Christians would run around in the Sahara Desert in a black sweatsuit with metal chains and locks around their dicks and V-Holes.

So, what movie do I go and check out?
The Notebook.

Shit, I would think that Christians could at least enjoy this movie. It's a movie about neverending love, about being with the person you love, not who you settle for, even if that person and you are from different societies. And maybe it's a little about fucking. But, hey, that's one of the best parts.

(Keep in mind, I have never seen the Notebook, but I have seen enough previews, swooning girls, and crying guys to know what I am talking about.)

So, I figure, why not post some of the reviews...and review them?

Negative - I can't tell you the number of girls that I know who absolutely love this movie because its a love story based on commitment. But honestly its a story about a girl who cheats on her soon to be husband. I think that it truly sends out a terrible message to girls. The woman in this movie has noisy sex with the man Boe in the movie. Then she was like this is great. I mean I don't see the greatness of this movie at all. It sends a horrible message out to young girls. This movie definitely is the opposite of what God has planned for marriage and a dating relationship. My Ratings: [Very Offensive/3]
--Matt, age 21

Matt, Matt, Matt. See, thoughts like this are the reason so many Christians are divorcing (and that's wrong too. Do you not remember that "until death do us part thing"?) She cheats on the soon-to-be-husband because she never loved him as much as she loved that main dude in the movie. I think the thing that pisses me off about this review are the way he says "noisy sex"...what a pussy.


Negative - ...The one I attended had a large number of young girls in the audience, and this is not a movie I would ever think of showing to that age group. The film disguises lust as just another form of love. The two main characters don't even get along, and the movie says so; the only time they get along is when they are making out. Must be true love! Then she goes and finds a decent guy, but cheats on him with the man she "loves". That scene alone made me uncomfortable knowing young girls were watching... After they have sex for the first time, the female lead says "Thats what I have been waiting for? Lets do it again!" I guess the idea of saving it for marriage was lost by her. And it showed the young audience that its not worth waiting for, because well, its fun. (Oh yeah, she was engaged to another man when they had sex, great morals.) "The Notebook" should not be seen by anyone under 17 or 18, that's just on moral grounds, not to mention the nudity and language the film contains... My Ratings: [Very Offensive/2]
--Jonathan Rodriguez, age 20

Man, what do they teach you kids in Bible School. Lust is a part of love. That's what seperates humans from nuns.


Negative - ...typical Hollywood fare: lust, sex, profanity. ...It's not that I didn't like the movie (maybe that's contradictory) but I couldn't help thinking about my three daughters and the message of lust and sex that was promoted in this movie in a positive light and no consequences...There was no need to include the sex scenes in this movie. They added absolutely nothing and ruined what could have been a great family film... My Ratings: [Very Offensive/4]
--Steve, age 51

MAYBE THAT'S CONTRADICTORY?! Of course it's contradictory you hypocritical bastard! You can't condemn something because of it's vices, but then say you enjoyed it! What an idiot. Steve needs to admit that he hates being like this and just wants to see some fucking a hear some dirty words. Join us on the Dark Side, Steve.


Negative - This is the worst movie of the summer, both from a Christian perspective and from a movie perspective. The film has two long, graphic sex scenes and the movie promotes reincarnation. There is also the Lord's name in vain a few times. This movie is boring and offensive. Don't waste your money on it. My Ratings: [Very Offensive/2½ ]
--Steve Allaby, age 24

Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...Steve's never getting laid...


Negative - I'm not sure what movie these people who are rating the movie as positive saw, but this is Hollywood's attempt to portray pre-marital sex as romance (much like Titanic did). No matter how you slice it, it's fornication, and it disturbs me that young girls will swoon over the relationship and see it as romantic vs. immoral. This is exactly how Satan wants Christians to feel about it. This is how he works on us, little by little, just making us a little more tolerant of immorality. Remember, in the end times, wrong will seem right. Sorry folks, the movie had a shot at being a love story, but ends up as a lust story. As a Christian, I can't recommend it and will not allow my two young teenage daughters to see it. My Ratings: [Very Offensive/4]
--Brent, age 40

Well, then let's hear it for the endtimes! I agree, Titanic was a bad movie (at least until the shit starts to hit the fan). I like how you can almost assume that Brent thinks Satan directed this movie. This can't be true, as Satan is busy wrapping up Gigli Pt. Deux.


Negative - Too much sex!! I was embarrassed to see it with my 15 year old daughter. My Ratings: [Average/4]
--Arlene Collins, age 41

And I suppose your daughter just congealed in a gutter? You had sex to have your daughter. Jesus.


Negative - Viewer beware! The pre-marital sex scenes and talk about the sex act are very explicit. PG-13 means absolutely nothing. I am disappointed that Christian reviewers gloss over this. I'm sure Jesus is blushing. Many 15 and under children were watching the movie. My teens will not be joining their friends for this misrepresented film. My Ratings: [Very Offensive/2]
--Cathie Hill, age 49

Your kids are gonna grow up to hate you and you are going to die alone. Oh, and Jesus thought this movie got hosed at the Acadamy Awards.

Next! How about one from a kid!?

Negative - ...I went with my girl friend and was pretty embarrassed to be watching a lot of sex. Obviously they were mixing lust with love. Love can exist without sex, and sex can, in fact, exist when there is absolutely no love. I was embarrassed to say the least and did not enjoy it. My girlfriend did enjoy it, and that’s ok, she took it as a very emotional film and probably thinks I thought it was cheesy. Not cheesy, but very misleading. It is misleading because sex before marriage is wrong. There is no Scripture that talks about, "Well if you really love that person, then it's ok" "If you stay with them forever, then it's ok." No verse!

I hope all those, that think this movie was just about love, think twice before seeking a fiery relationship. Just like every other time it will destroy you. The Bible makes it very clear in proverbs! It will destroy you! My Ratings: [Very Offensive/3]
--David, age 16

Put down the Bible, David. You think that having pre-marital sex will "DESTROY YOU!"? Try lasting without sex until the age of 36, just like you are going to have to. That's gonna destroy you!


Negative - Even taking Christian morales aside this move is reduced to nothing more than a typical "lust" story, honestly, and I mean lust not love. Whereas it does accent the consequences of ungodly acts such as premarital sex and placing ones love in somebody as their heart and soul rather than the emphasis of the love for Christ. (Love the Lord, your God with all your mind, heart and soul.) It ultimately falls short by being way to simplistic, horrible dialogue and reflects the ignorance of worldly love.

The saddest part of the movie is that their relationship is not Christ-centered. The power of their love is highly selfish and motivated towards fulfilling the fleshly desires of one another. "This is what I have been missing out in" is one of the phrases Ally makes after they have intercourse. Repulsed by the sleeziness and false image of love this movie and novel portrays I must say its a real downer; utilizing the visade of elderly age to justify that because their so called love is lasting and sweet does the true and everlasting love of Christ no justice.

The mise-en-scene, is over the top and unrealistic and the conclusion of the film, of them being together, that through love they can accomplish anything is way to idealistic and dangerous; as scripturally speaking, the following is mentioned: oh about the love lasting forever after death thing, that is true but the intimacy will be more focused on Christ. It's rather the human marriage bond that will end. The only thing I was trying to make clear is that scripturally speaking after death, people are no longer married; it's not a mere marriage vow. Matthew 22:30; I apologize for not making it clear... love may be lasting, the notion of not remembering earthly relationships is absurd, however Jesus said that the institution of human marriage would end, having fulfilled its purpose to anticipate and reflect the marriage of Christ and his bride (Ephesians 5:23-32). He did not say nor imply that the deep relationships built between married couples would end.

Don't let your emotions get the best of you and let your ideas of love become corrupted by this worldly carnal view. This was by no means a great film, nor a very good one because it promotes and makes an general acceptance of this kind of immoral behavior. The sad thing is that such relationships run rampant in our world, and are englufed in a void of emptiness. My Ratings: [Average/2]
--Matthew, age 20

OK, I think that Jesus was an awesome dude. He spoke the truth. Him and Martin Luther King, Jr. are my two favorite people when it comes to peace talk. But, holy shit, this guy is putting Jesus ahead of his partner when it comes to love. OK, you try marrying a girl and then give Jesus more attention than her. You won't last past 3 months.

Well, this was fun, but just to show that all Christians aren't crazy, here is someone who posted a "Positive";

Positive - ...a really good movie! My Ratings: [Better than Average/4]
--Molly, age 13

Thank you, Molly.
16 say| fuck you

[15 Aug 2005|01:30am]

In a band?  Looking for a record label?  Not a good one?  Just a record label?



Well, you're in luck.



King Of Hearts Records


Hit that shit up.

8 say| fuck you

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